How do I live without you?

It't the last day of 2010. Seriously, 2010 has not been good to me. Finally graduated from Diploma and continued my Advanced Diploma. I realized that Advance is so much difficult and need more effort. But good things is I get a bunch of new friends. And totally glad because that happened. Other than that will be seeing my friends flies oversea to further their study. Yes, I'm talking about you, Woon and Tian Long.. I miss all the times we spent together. Without the both of you, there is less joy and laughter.. Looking forward for your return.. As for Hee Boon, I'm sorry because we didn't spend more time together and I will try to make it for you in 2011.. Pinkie darling, how could I forget you.. I will definitely meet you up after my exam.. Ah, friends do come and go.. You will have new one in your life but you will also have someone who leave your life. That's life.

As for relationship, well it is consider ok despite we have arguments over the year. But that is consider normal for a couple right? Boyf been working very hard this year and managed to fulfill his target for this year which I'm truly proud of him. Looking back, it's been 2 and a half year we've together and seriously, I never thought I will be in a relationship for this long.. Lolz. But the truth proves to me that I can.. I really hope next year will be a better year for both of us. Love you, lao gong..

Finally, family.. I guess 2010 is really not a good year.. Brother been coming home lesses than previous years and then daddy is sick.. Now, even my lovely Velvet is missing. But but I guess 2011 will definitely be better as Ko will get marry next year.. If I ever have a wishlist, it will be to have my Velvet back. Then, a very joyful and prosperous year for my friends and family.. I learned that this is the most important things in life rather than wanted to buy this and that.. Of course, I still have something that I wanted which is my G12.. Wakakakaka..

Yesterday, I was so moody and gloomy because I dreamed of Velvet. The dream is like this, I walked into my house and saw my Velvet. I asked daddy, Dad, Velvet is back!! I feel so so so happy and went to hug him.. When I was about to ask daddy how did he come back, I was awake. It hits me real hard because it is just a dream. I almost cried because it is just like giving me hope and then taking it away. So, I started my day feeling sad. I rarely talk to my friends in class and when they asked what is wrong, I couldn't tell because I feel like crying.. I just don't understand why, why do you want to take other people's dog? I will not use the word steal because they might be kind to save my Velvet from being ran over by cars. But then, don't you think their family will be extremely worry about him? Whenever I talk about Velvet, I feel like crying.. I guess I just have to accept the facts now.. It's been one week already.. I need more time.. and it will be best if I could turn back time..

Sad Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone!

But I'm not in Christmas mood. As you see above, it is my Velvet. I got the bad news today that he is missing. Right now he is still missing. I wonder where is him now.

Velvet, where are you? Can you come back now? We all miss you back home. It is so quiet in the house without you.

I cursed the people who take him away. People who take him away is a fucking thief. I cursed you go to hell if you don't return my Velvet.

Ugly truth

Things turned out to be pretty ugly when people started blaming each other. No matter it's relationship, friendship or family, blaming eventually destroyed the relationship.

Blog is a very good place to express feelings as well as to find out the ugly truth. Yes, the truth is very undeniable and unacceptable because it tells things that every one didn't want to face. On the other hand, blog is also another tool to destroy the relationship. Hahaha.. Sometimes, knowing too much is not a good thing. There will be no U-turn and things will just become worse. I read this from Twitter, "when everything is not right, then go left." It is funny when you read it, but how many people can actually manage to go left in the right time? How many people will be willing to accept their own mistakes and apologize? People are born to be ego at times.

You will say, no, I'm not ego at all which a total bullshit. Every one has the ego in them. It is just the matter of showing it to others or hiding it deep in your heart. But no matter how hard you are trying to hide, it will still shows to others obviously. You can go out and ask anyone, who did not want to win or become better than the others? This is also why competition happens all the time.

Anyway, friendship turned out pretty bad. And eventually become worse. I'm not going to blame it on others saying who's fault and all. But I'm just going to express it. It is not anyone's fault when I don't agreed with her style of doing things. Maybe it is my problems because I'm the one who cannot accept it. Plus the overnight mahjong session is seriously killing me. I'm sick and have to go through the whole night listening to mahjong's sound and also people talking out loud. As a friend, I thought you will stand up for me at that moment by asking your brother and colleague to be slightly quiet but no, you did nothing but joining them. Do you know, how much I suffer by wanting to sleep so much but I couldn't? The feelings is truly sucks. The aftermath of the mahjong session? My sickness become worse. I had sore throat, cough and also flu. I have to attend 8am class straight until 3.30pm. In the end, I think my blood pressure become low and head become extremely dizzy. I cannot sleep even though I finally can sleep kao kao after class.. Suffered for the whole night.. However, you did made some changes by talking to your brother about the mahjong session as our exam is drawing near. I truly appreciate that. I do feel that we are drifting apart. What can I do to save it? Nothing because you are drifting apart yourself. Feeling disappointed? We all are.. So, moving on is the only options..

After the problems with friendship, I seek comfort in family and relationship. Boyf has been sick for the whole week now and coincidently, I'm sick too, 3 days after his fever. He is thoughtful enough to take care of me and asked me don't eat this don't eat that.. Oh, did I tell that my period came the same day as my sore throat? Which worsen my sickness and makes me super duper suffer. Hahahaha.. Get all the care and attention from boyf makes me happy enough for the whole week. However, when he get back to work, attention that I get is lesser. But never mind, as long as he is healthy,that makes me happy.

As for my family, I called daddy and manja with him saying that I'm sick. He too asked me to drink this and drink that. Muahahaha.. The surprising part was, when I came home yesterday, I get a big bowl of chicken soup from my aunt because she heard that I suffer from low blood pressure again. Thanks aunty for the soup and cousin for bringing it over to my house.. I'm truly blessed to have all the love and care. I know I do sound a little spoiled but hey, everyone loves to be spoiled right?

And now I have to off to writing script for my radio programme. Take care everyone as the weather become moody nowadays. One moment sunny, another moment raining cats and dogs..

How's your weekdays treating you so far?

Happy weekend!

It's time to wake up

Holla~~ I've been missing since internship incident. Well, I've calm down and also enjoyed my week because Kama Satwan is not around. I had a week to be free from assignment apart of Monday.. Not gonna elaborate.. Anyway, I went sing k,catching up with HK drama and window shopping.. Seriously, I want Starbuck's tumbler but the one I like is out of stock. Ish x10.. But think properly, if I found it, will I really buy it? I wonder..

My elder bro went back to China this morning. Left the rest of us to take care of everything. He manage to settle everything b4 he left. I'm so happy to have him because he loves us and take care of everything for us. Therefore, in order to repay his kindness, I will study real real hard.. I PROMISE!! It strikes me after the internship incident.. It's time to wake up!!!

I'm down with flu right now.. Why now? Arghh!!!! I still got shooting tmr.. Why why why? Ish ish ish~~~ Geramnyer~~ My neighbour is renovating their house.. Again~~ Everytime when I'm having holiday or come home during weekend, renovate. I ada fate dengan renovation meh? I hate hate renovation because it makes me headache... Bla bla bla~~~~

On the other hand, boyf is sick too.. Kesian him. Still not yet recover.. And he makes me sick also.. Bluek! Bad boyf lo~ Now sama-sama sick lo~

I guess I should go and rest now.. Tak boleh tahan liow!!!

BYE!

What does rainbow means to you

When you see rainbow, what do you think about? A glimpse of hope in dark? I don't know. My feelings for the past few days is like seeing rainbows. Hoping and hoping for something. However, today my hope was fully destroyed by my programme supervisor. I fall from heaven to hell.

About a month ago, she asked us to prepare our resume for internship. We were all rushing for it. After all the resume is sent, all we can do is wait. Finally, last week, 4 of my course mates received calls to go for interview. I still putting hope and waited patiently. I look at my phone every few seconds just in case my calls got missed. Today, my programme supervisor came and give us a brief talk about internship and this is when my hope is gone. She told us not many of us are qualified for internship. And I turned out to be oner of the lucky one that will stay in college next semester. My heart broke into pieces when I heard of that and definitely disappointed. I wonder, what is the use of getting a merit in diploma and keep your record nice and presentable? I'm still not qualified for internship. If from the beginning she told us that we are not qualified, I'm fine with it. But after all the hassle of preparing the resume and spending money on passport size pictures only she informed us about it. I was pissed and disappointed at the same time. I cannot even think straight at that moment. I becomes so moody and totally lost interest in lecture. I envy those who gets to go for internship. But it is a fact now and nothing I can do to change it.

I'm much more better than just now. At least, I controlled my own emotions already.. But that doesn't mean I don't get angry with the person that caused me not qualified for internship. Totally remember the 'favour' from him. Thanks a lot and I will repay if I have a chance.

Now, everything is black for me and I need my rainbow back~

Me.. the usual one~

I bet most of you miss me.. Hahaha.. It's been very long since I last post any pictures.. As usual, I'm caught up with assignments and this time around, some family stuff.. Anyway, I'm good now.. I will be having one whole week free from assignments because I will only shoot my PSA week after next week. I will plan a little for my last radio assignments but just some light planning. Next week will definitely a good week.. Plus I can get some time to relax and maybe study a little for my upcoming exams.

Things have been out of hand recently and that makes me so frustrated. I seriously don't know what else I can do anymore. Frankly speaking, I'm so stuck in the middle and really don't know what I should do.. Someone pls help me!!!!!!

Yesterday, I argued with the boyf and for the first time in our relationship, we actually let it off without discussing it. Seriously, I don't know what I did wrong.. Maybe I sounds too harsh about his plan but that's me. Plus I'm so tired. I don't know why he cannot accept the harsh side of me. It's like part of me. Today, he is not ignoring me but at the same time not being too friendly like usual. Fine, time will heal and if it is not, nothing I can do. Yeah, it did hurts me.

I'm determined to practice a healthier eating habits because I realized that I've been easily fatigue and that is very bad. I also need to do some exercise I guess.. Hopefully I can find time to do it..

On the happier note, I actually passed my TV midterm which makes me relieved a little. But I know I have to work hard for my final.. So far, only the Statistic midterm disappoint me but that is what I deserved for not studying hard enough. But look at the brighter side, my assignment marks is satisfying so far..

Weekend is love~~

I need time machine!

Unpredictable.. Who would have think it will happened? Non of us has actually predicted it.. Why it will turned out this way? No one knows..

Sigh.. I really really hope things will turned out better or at least back to the time when nothing happens..

I need miracle or maybe a time machine for me to go back and change everything before it is too late..

Hello everyone

Hey everyone, sorry for being hiatus.. Lol.. I've been so tied up with assignments and family stuffs. It's weekend but I didn't get to sleep late coz Velvet came into my room and bark till I'm awake to let him out. Good day it seems, being waken by my doggie.

Yesterday, I attended a talk by Ms Loh's friend, Mr Benji Lim, a director in Malaysia. He involved in 15 Malaysia's project and also made a few independent films. He really inspired me a lot because he shared his experience about being a director. He said, we must think and support our points with facts. I think what he said is true. Now, I will try to see things from the different ways. Thanks Ms Loh for inviting us to the talk.. *smiles*

I've been hooked up to mahjong lately.. Hahaha.. My housemates and I are playing with it to release stress. But it didn't involved money. I don't have lucks in gambling I guess..

When? When only I will be free and stop thinking about productions? Seriously, Advanced is not easy.. I guess I have to start studying now.. The only things that makes me feel better is my assignments marks..

Pictures? Maybe later.. Lolz.. I don't have time to take any picture at the moments..

Coincident of the day..

Life is full of coincidence.. If it is not coincidence, I would not have met my love. :) Anyway, today is not a day to talk about my love.. Lolz. It's a bout coincidence of the day.

Yesterday, I was supposed to go home at 4pm but due to the boyf have some work to do, we have to go home later. He fetched me to Puchong because his client wants to see the house. We waited and waited but no signs of his colleague and client. I on my What's App after so long and get a msg. From my buddy, Chung Weng.. And that msg is sent at September.. Hahahaha.. I replied him only to realized it was a "expired" msg. We chatted for a while and it's nice catching up again. I miss him, really.. It's been really long since I last saw him..

I was happily browsing thru people who used the same application and holla, I found him. The long lost friend aka ex, Wei Lun.. Hmm.. I have his number but I scared he is no longer using that number so I didn't call. And that's it. We lost contact. I decided to send him msg and waits very long fro his reply. I off it and was busy with my dinner when I got home. Later, I on it back and saw his reply asking who am I. Lolz. I answer, I'm vling. Still remember me? Guess what is his reply? Sorry, I'm his gf. He is not around. Anything I can help me? ......... Awkward situation that I'm stuck in. I replied, just a long lost friend and surprise seeing him using the same applications. Coincidently meeting him in What's App and coincidently chatting with the gf.. Anyway, today I browse thru facebook and found him. Added him and chatted for a while. I wonder, will he refuse to be friends with me anymore? I don't know. By chatting with him, memories flows bits by bits. Ah, nostalgia..

Coincidence brought me chatting with three of my friend yesterday. First, Pin Xien then Chung Weng and lastly Wei Lun. I realized that I have been living in my own groups of friends for too long. It makes me forget my other friends. I guess it's time to catch up once again buddies..

My boyf got a little jealous of me chatting with my ex.. 2 somemore.. Lolz.. But if it wasn't him, I will not on my What's App.. Should I thank him? Lolz

So, this is my story of coincidence..

What's yours?

:)

Will blog once I'm free..

Stay tune!

bla bla bla

I survived my radio rehearsal today.. Things is kind of messy but it is consider a quite last minute work.. The story is kind of new and fresh for me. Hopefully we will do it better for live one next week.

I tell you some funny story.. I have this lecturer who adds us in Facebook. He is my lecturer since last semester and coincidently I failed his subject last semester. I don't why I fail and my group of friend all fails too.. Hahahaha.. This semester, we are lucky to have him again as our lecturer/tutor. He changed our lecture time to 8am and I cannot get up for so many weeks. Then every few days, I will see him cursing people who didn't attend his lecture.. Cute-kan? I also think so lo.. I will try my best to attend lo.. Janganlah curse curse always.. Better study for all the subjects now..

My lovely lappie keep on hang recently.. I pun tak tahu kenapa.. Haiyo.. Very mafan lo.. How? Is it install to many software? Or what? I pun dunno lo.. Which computer expert is kind enough to check for me le? Oh ya, ko is coming back. I can ask for his help..

And and, my temper macam bitch lo.. Menstrual cramp.. That's y.. so bear with me la.. I also very tired lo.. Everyday moody then feel like killing people.. haiya.. Sien max..

RM297..

This baby is sent to Canon for repair.. Thanks to sis friend who being playful.. It took Canon 5 days to send me the quotation for the repair. It costs RM297 to repair it.. Luckily they said can collect it next week. Or else I'm sure gonna fuck them gao gao.. See la, reapir a camera also so expensive. It's like 20% of the camera's original price.. Wow, if it's my baby G12, how much will it be? Ok la, I changed my target to G12 because it can take HD video and I seriously need it..

I had my tv presentation yesterday and it was a nightmare. We do everything last minute and it was such a mess. We left out lots of important things. We did not attach cover to the proposal and left out some shots. This is the first time we are doing it with Pn Khaza so she didn't scold us. I guess the next time, we have to plan it properly.

I came home yesterday and my house is such a mess. It is under renovation. Dust is everywhere and we cannot go out because the cement is still wet. Lots of things need to be done. I have midterms and assignment due-ing next week. Hectic life..

This is my dog, Velvet, just in case you don't know. Don't be fool by his innocent face because he is very naughty. Sis and I have to bath him today. Daddy is the one who do it all the time but he is not feeling well today so sis and I did it. He bully us because he is not scared of us. He splash the water all over sis and I and didn't want to sit still to let us bath him. After that, sis dry him using the hair dryer and he tried to run away.. See, how naughty he is. Only dad can control him.. Lolz..

Things has not been going too well this week because my work is done properly and there are just some problems occur.. I just hope everything will be ok soon enough.. Life is really unpredictable and so do I..

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

Oops, I'm so into my self introduction assignment. Anyway, that is how I do my assignment. I hand it in this morning and I'm very very tired. There are some problems with the assignments so I have to do it all over again. Lolz.. But it's ok.. At least I put in efforts. I'm so tired that I slept in my bf's car the whole journey from gk to tian hou temple. Seriously, I'm like pengsan already. I cannot even wake up when I reached my destination. In the end, my bf went to the temple alone while I continue to sleep in the car. Geng right? I know.. Shameless.

I sleep the whole afternoon and finally wake up to online. My elder brother came and msn me. He asked me about my daddy's condition. I know nothing about it. Then my brother asked, did you go home last weekend? I said no..Immediately, I called my sister. She explains a little and I asked her to online. There we are, having family discussion thru skype. I'm dead worry about daddy right now. Hope he is ok. His report is not out yet and he needs to go thru check ups. I hope I can be home at this moment. I can't because I'm having presentation this coming Thursday.. Sigh.. Daddy daddy, pls be healthy.. Don't fall sick ok.. I love you very very much..

Say cheeeeeeeeeeeeeese

Say cheeeeeeeeeeese everyone as Pizza Hut introduced new Extreme Cheesy 6 Pizza. From the name itself you can guess it.. There are 6 types of cheeese in it..

*Pictures credits to Pizza Hut*

You must wonder what types of cheese that they added into the pizza.. Here is it..

Cheddar

Mozzarella

Parmesan

Provolone

Monterey Jack

Romano

I bet most of you only know 3 of it coz I'm one of it. Lol. It amazed me how 6 types of cheese can be melt together.. And it taste like heaven.. It is so tempting and I cannot help myself to give it a try.. As you know, SHARING IS CARING so I decided to tried it out with 2 of my bestie. *excited*

Mushroom soup

7 up Revive

Garlic Bread

Jeng Jeng Jeng Jeng.... Here is my love, Cheesy Chicken.. *loves*

I wanted to try all the flavor but I couldn't finish it. Such a waste. So I can only choose 1 out of 3.. *look at the other 2 flavor sadly*

Pictures tells everything..

My buddies did looks like a kid stealing some pizza.. This is how much we love it..

She forced herself to hold the pizza and tried very hard not to eat it.. And did you notice, there is a bite missing.. She secretly had a bite.. Oops..

Orgasm face.. That is how heavenly it taste like.. *applause*

Double layer extreme cheesy 6 pizza.. This is our own creation which shows our desire towards double layer..Yummeh..

Me with the hero of the day.. It really make my day as I'm satisfied and extremely happy.

If only I can have it all by myself..

Delizioso is the only words that can express my feelings.. Eating is my passion although I cannot eat much.. But I like to try new food after being influenced by my friends. But I'm kind of disappointed because the staff did not wear the full cheese uniform.. *sad* They only have their apron on.. Anyway, the pizza itself already filled my sadness because it is so hard to resist and be sad when having a full cheese pizza in your mouth.. Although it is sinful, but it is tempting as well.. I bet there are lots of you out there cannot resist it..

DELIZIOSO!!!

Last but not least...

I’m crazy about Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!

Who can help me?

All these time, thinking is so much easier than doing it. You can say whatever you want without knowing if you can do it or not. But now, I'm having difficulty with thinking. As I mentioned in the previous post, I need to come up with a idea about self introduction for my individual assignment. Now, I realized I did not truly understand myself other than having bad temper. I don't know what to do and stuck with no idea at all. So how? I don't know.

Things are not going my way because I faced obstacles with every single thing I do right now. I did not want to complain because I remembered how one of my friends used to say about my bad habit of complaining. Complain but did not do anything to change it. So, I will not complain. Because complain alone will not change anything but only make me feel slightly better. I wished I have more patient towards dealing with people. Plus, my sleeping time is reduced so I'm more grumpy than usual. I want my stuff to be done earlier but I just couldn't get the idea. Can I just go somewhere to find some inspiration? I need it very much now, seriously..

I regret wishing for production last semester. There are too many production now that we practically ran out of idea. I admit I'm not a very creative person and I'm only good at words so I often polish people's idea rather than coming with a new one. My idea will only be out on a very rare occasion. Maybe by travelling to other places brings more inspiration? But I don't have any time to travel right now because due date is approaching.. Sigh..

First encounter with contact lens.

Please ignore my face.. Focus on my eyes.. Hahahaha.. I finally gained the courage to put on the contact lens. It took me about half an hour to do so. My left eye is playing a fool with me. It is so difficult to put the contact on.. When I finally put it on, my boyf called and told me he reached already. I decided to go out with contact. Then, I realized it is a mistakes. I'm tired and the contact lens make my eyes so uncomfortable. Soon after I reach my boyf's house, I took it off. I think I have to wear it often to make my eyes used to it..

I'm having my 1st presentation yesterday. It was quite ok and I feel so tired right b4 the presentation. I got 16 out of 20 and honestly, I'm a little bit down at that moment. But I'm ok now.. It is mt fault anyway for getting low mark. I was never good in presentation and I guess I need to brush up my own presentation skills. I need to gain the courage to speak in front of people. Sigh..

I'm still not used to 8am class and this week, I'm having 5 days of 8am class. There is a talk in college hall and I decided to skip it. Last time I attended the university talk and it bores me to death. I feel cheated therefore I skipped this one and went home to continue my beauty sleep. And I have time to clean my room and the living. Feeling happy right now.. Hehe..

Yesterday, boyf give me back the Samsung eggshell phone and I insert the new sim card. He said, you know, that guy's number is still in the phone. I looked at him and said, really? I thought he is joking coz I've deleted all the numbers inside. Then he showed me.. It is in the speed dial.. Hahahaha.. He shoot me the jealous look. I can't help but to laugh. He is so so cute. I have to sayang him back for being so cute..

Another problem is assignments. I have to hand in my assignment very soon but I still don't have any inspiration. Who can help me? Self introduction but we can do it in a creative way. Not like my name is bla bla bla and my age is bla bla bla.. That is so primary school feel..

Please dear friends, help me by telling me what do you think about me.. I might gain some inspiration from there..

Lucky day in Ikea

You did not see it wrongly.. It was TUN DR MAHATHIR with MY DADDY.. Look at my dad's happy face, you know it is true. Lolz.. Today is supposed to be normal family outing to Ikea to look for the light. We are renovating our house so we need to survey the lighting as well. While waiting for mummy who happens to go to washroom, siblings and I actually saw Tun Dr Mahathir. We don't know how to react and wanted to call daddy who is sitting in another side. Nope, we didn't so anything because he is walking pretty fast and we lost him when mummy finally came out. Later, we saw him again and daddy is so excited. He went over and take picture with him. Which also explains the picture above. I was a little bit shy so I didn't step up. We continued to walk around and then we met him another time which also the last time. Dad encourage us to go and take picture with him. And we did. Bro, mum and I went and took picture with him but sadly he didn't look at the camera because there are so many camera there. Anyway, it was consider a lucky day because I didn't get to meet him at all during his time as a Prime Minister. Anyway, today is a lucky coz in the end, I get to eat my favourite Teppanyaki..

Where is my sunshine?

Looks familiar? It is taken in Pavilion's Forever 21. I went there with Erica yesterday. It was a very nice chatting/shopping day where we spent our evening having yummylicious snowflakes and shopping.. College is hectic for me because of 8am class. I feel so tired and lazy to do anything after class. Which also explains the delayed of my assignments. I should get it started b4 everything is too late.

I've spend 3 days out of 5 days with the boyf. It is nice and relaxing being with him although he is answering phone calls non stop. That is his job and I cannot say anything. Lolz.

I'm still madly in love with G11.. More than my boyf.. *evil smiles* Just kidding. Of course I love my boyf more. But I can't stop thinking about the camera and wanted to lay my hands on it.. Oh gawd, it is so tempting that I even have the picture of G11 as my lappie's wallpaper.. The power of love..

I've been living in gloomy mood recently because I'm extremely tired. My sleeping time is so messed up because I have morning class then I took my nap in the noon and ended up cannot sleep during night. Lolz.. So, my mood is like a roller coaster. When will the sun shine on me again? I don't like gloomy mood. Missing the bubbly me..

Love at first sight

PowerShot G11

PowerShot G12

I'm aiming for either one of this camera above. It was love at the first sight when I saw it in the shop yesterday. Previously, I was aiming for PowerShot S90 but I'm falling in love with G11 now.. At this moment, I don't have the cash to buy it so I just have to post it in my blog so that I have the motivation to work and get it.. Wait for me baby.. You will be mine soon..

I will not go pro like Wan Huey but at least learn the basic of it.. Lolz. I have Wan Huey to teach me a little here and there. So I guess it is alright for me to buy something more than just a digital camera. Work work work! Have to be motivated to work.. But also cope with studies at the same time.

Wonder when will I be together with my love at the first sight? I just can't get my eyes off you..

PMS

This week is not a good week for me. I quarrel with my boyf 2 days in a row. I don't know it is me who is not considerate enough or just because PMS kicking in? Yes, I'm in very bad temper these few days because of PMS. I don't know. Not being able to see him makes me feels so insecure. I'm not clingy types but it just makes me so fucking insecure. I hate it when I started to be clingy. I will be demanding and when he cannot fulfill my demand, we quarrel. I hate being free all day without nothing to do. Then, I will call him and when he is not free to entertain me, I will be frustrated. Oh PMS, please go away as soon as possible.

It's been 2 years plus we've been together. Not a very long nor very short period so it often brings me lots of questions. Will I spend the rest of my life with him? Will he always love me like he does right now? How much can I accept if changes happens? I guess we will see then..

The only things I can be sure of is he is the one I love right now. Nothing's gonna change that.

A little about my life..

Holla everyone.. Told ya, it was a stressful week. It is just week 2 and we are showered with a lot of assignments already and due dates is also approaching. And I get a very good news.. I will have to attend 8am classes for 4 days continuously. This is because my group is lucky to picked up 10am class on Thursday. But still, 8am class is killing me. I wake up late today because I didn't hear the sound of my alarm. Luckily Yogurt called and I managed to wake up. This kind of incident didn't happened to me before. I attended class for 1 hour plus and back home again. Which also explains why I sleep from 10am till 3.17pm. Hahaha.. I'm too tired and having period cramp, that's why.

Yesterday, I was talking to the boyf on the phone. He said something about the dream that he had earlier and I asked him what is that. He said he will tell me later and I keep asking. In the end, we had a row and I'm so so tired to actually react anymore. Is it him or me? What is wrong? Sien max..

Survived week 1

Week 1 of college is over.. I guess the coming week will be hectic because assignments starts kicking in. Throughout this whole week, I've make a few friends and also spend lots of quality time with the boyf. Lots of things need to be done. Internship starts next semester and everything have to be done this semester.. Sigh. Where is the list SSSH? Slow as usual..

Yesterday, I went to airport twice. Lolz.. 1st time is to send Yogurt they all as they are going to Kuching for holiday. It was fun because I could speed up to 160km/h. The boyf is not with me because the car cannot fit so many people.. Hahaha.. But the journey back is disaster.. I missed a turning and I went all the way to Puchong and stuck in a jam. hmmph.. Then, the boyf and I went to airport again to sent his off. It was a tiring journey and we went back to Klang after that. I sleep after fetching bro from tuition. And I only wake up at 9pm.. Hahahaha.. Boyf went back around12am. I wanted to wait for his call but I'm too tired so I fell asleep. He called and I mumbled all the way.. Hahahaha..

And today, I wake up feeling tired but couldn't sleep any longer.. Sis went to Cameron with her ex-colleague and I'm left home with my younger brother.. Hahaha..

Crazy timetable

My schedule is finally out but I'm not happy with it. 4 days of 8am class plus 2 days of 5 hours straight of class for 1 particular subject. How suck can that be? Most of my lecture and tutorial class is in Q block. Oh my god, that is really really far.. Matilah saya.. When assignments start, I'm dead for sure.

I can't believe I still have to attend English this semester. So, I attended English today and it is boring.. 1st, lecturer is a Sue Soh num 2 minus the overacting part. 2nd,she discuss about meetings and only meetings. I almost fell asleep in the class. But she is kind of unique tho because if someone communicate using language other than English,in the following week, that particular person have to sing a song in the class. I think assignments for this semester is kinda heavy too as they carries lots of marks.. Hopefully I can survive thru semester 2..

Yesterday, I worked in Harvery Norman in Midvalley but under Papago lo.. It's an easy job as I only need to serve the customers. Plus it's a Tuesday so there are not many customers. Hehehe.. In fact, I've watch several movies there such as Ong Bak 3, Shanghai Noon, Madagascar 2 and Shaolin Soccer.. There are one stool there and the staffs there are so friendly to let me rest.. I've met few new friends and they are so kind to have lunch with me.. *happy* Due to the wrong shoes, my feet is full with blister and it hurts badly. New semester starts already so hopefully I will still have time for some part time jobs coz I wants to spend my own money.. I just feel that I should reduce some of my daddy's burden because my younger brother is going to enter college soon. Right now, I pray for a good results and also for my brother so that he can really study hard and get good grades..

Holiday.. byebye

My holiday is ending soon.. Which tomorrow will be the last day.. Happy to go back to college or want longer holiday? I don't know. Holiday has not been good because there are lots of things happened. And most of it is unhappy things. Maybe starting a new semester will helps a little. Hopefully I don't have to change class.. *prays*

Yesterday, I was 'surprise' by boyf's sudden visit. Not a surprise tho because I knew he will come. Just don't know what time. Lolz.. So, his surprise failed like previous times.. But the thoughts that count so I'm happy also. Mum wants me to blend the orange into juice and I make my boyf do it.. Evil me.. I did offer to help but he didn't want me to. So, I just stand beside him and chat with him. We went jalan-jalan in Aeon and he bought me gummy bears. *loves* He left around 8 something because of emergency but I'm happy spending some time with him..

I'm going back to KL tomorrow night.. I miss my buddies.. so much..

The happy me..

This is my new hair cut. Not much difference but my front hair is shorter and my split end is 80% gone. Which makes me super happy. I was so annoyed by the frizzy and bristle hair and not forgetting, full of split end. Anyway, I finally had a very nice sleep. That also makes me happy and the negativity inside me is all gone.. I get myself a job yesterday.. Oh, money to shop again.. Double triple happiness.

Can I sleep peacefully? I've having insomnia for few days already. My body is really tired but mind just don't let me rest. I just want to have a good night sleep. I just hope I can just sleep and never wake up so that I can escape from REALITY.. Reality is cruel as always. What is done is done.. Nothing I can do to turn back time. Even if I want to, things will still be same..

I hate holiday now.. just this moment

Sometimes, I hate holidays because I will be in hometown and away from my best friends. I miss hanging out with them and talks particularly everything.. Whenever I'm down, they will be there to cheer me up. Lame jokes, foul languages and etc will makes me happier..

Anyway, receiving calls from Yogurt cheers me up a little.. Told ya, friends ease the emo me..

I guess this holiday is tough for everyone because too many things happened. It forced us to get out from our comfort zone and face the reality. Hardly can rely on people to solve it for us. Hopefully new semester gives me new hope..

Mixed feelings

I come across this pictures when I looking at my old pictures.. This is one of my chemistry experiment during A Levels.. Colourful isn't it? How nice if life can be that colourful? Yesterday, I attended my relative's funeral. He is not a close relative to me, just know who he is. He died of heart attack in front of a shop near his house. It was so sudden and unpredictable. I never like funeral because it always means someone dearest to me left me. Recently, I've been emo-ing because of things that I read in facebook. I feel upset because of less contact and all the weird status update. It feels like I know nothing about him. I don't know. I didn't want to ask or confront because it will only ended up with me thinking too much.

I find that there are always a season for something such as breaking up season, involve in a relationship season and etc. Recently, it will be having an affair season. Hahaha. Few friends around me is having an affair. I don't get it. What is the excitement of having an affair? Why people have to be that greedy? One is not enough? It will only hurt your partner then why do so? One of my friend's friend broke up with her bf because he is having an affair. I thought they were so loving and the bf love her so much. It is such a waste that they broke up. I don't know who to blame in an affair issue because both parties thinks they are right. Relationship is complicated. That is all I can say.

Finally get my IC done today. At least I did something during my holiday. I guess staying at home too long will caused me to be emo. Sigh..

What a lazy bum I am

I look like I just woke up after hot sex and stole my boyfriend's shirt to wear. Nope, it's mine.. This is one of the things that I splurge during my stressful exam week. I forgot to bring my clutches back so I wear it just like this.. Hahaha.. Holiday is a bit boring for me because I tend to be too free.. I stayed in front of the lappie too long that I find it quite boring. Then, I start reading my new book and I finished Mini Shopaholic in 3 days.. I also tried playing The Sims 3 which I kind of enjoy. But somehow, I got stuck in building my dream house. I don't know what kind of design I wanted yet so I left it unattended.

I also started to watch Korean drama that I borrowed from Hui Bee before exam. I tried very hard to concentrate on the subtitles because they speak in Korean and the subtitles is in chinese. I tried my best to connect the words I know so that I know what is going on. It is not an easy task for me because Chinese words that I know is limited. Lolz. Yeah, I don't know how to read Chinese but I'm learning. I can speak well but just cannot read.

Finally, I hide my lazy bug and start cleaning my stuff that I left there about half a year. I throw away all of my notes but keeps my assignments because that is my hard work.. I even throw away lots of things such as receipt, name cards and wallets/purse.. Phew, after 1 and half hour later, everything is done including vacuuming the room. I'm happy because I got extra space to put things.. Guess mum and sis will be happy seeing it too.. And and I found RM50 in my drawers.. Yippie, extra cash.. I wonder if I hide any money anywhere?

Shelter of my life

I barely mentioned about my family in my blog. And here it is, my family photo during my convocation. My elder brother actually flew back to Malaysia just to attend my convocation. I'm mad happy when I heard that. I'm glad that all my family members loves me and pamper me like a princess. I'm the third children in the family so I'm having an elder brother and sister. I was the lucky one being pampered because I'm the younger sister so I gets all the privilege. Even my younger brother also pamper me because he will listens to me whining and settle my problems with the lappie. Recently, we had a new activity which is singing.. Lolz.. Both of us is having holiday at the same time and we can hang out together.. Or else I will be bored to death. Of course I got one more family member.. The most recently one.. Or should I said ten years ago..

Yeah.. It's my velvet doggie.. Love him max!

The day we reunited again..

2 days ago, Pink came to Klang and stayed with me.. She asked me to go Nilai at first but I just came back to Klang that day itself.. So, it is kind of impossible to leave again as my parents will nag me non stop. She drove all the way from Nilai to Klang just to meet me.. Owh, I'm so touched. *loves her max* I went to Klang Parade and get her because she is not familiar with Klang. We talked non stop since I get into her car. That night, we actually chatted and watched drama together until 3.30am. It was a really nice catch up because we were both busy and couldn't find the right time to meet. I miss her so much and meeting her makes me feels like having my other half back. I've been missing a piece of myself. Lolz. She completes me.. Ok, I sounded like a lesbo but we are not. We updates our life and tell all the stories to each other. In the end, we dozed off because I was still suffering the aftermath of a trip. We shared a single bed in my study room.. Hahahaha.. Sorry darling, make you squeeze in a single bed with me. But I enjoyed the intimacy.. Oh my, I sounds lesbo again.. Nehmind, I'm willing to be lesbo with her.. LOlz.. The next morning, we woke up pretty early and had breakfast. Surf the net for a while then shower and off we go to Pyramid. Shopping is also a must do during our meetings. We actually went with my sis and her friend but we went separate ways. we tried on clothes and took pictures like how we used to. It is a really nice catch ups. We even met up with Alex and his friend, Morgan. Both of them are so kind to drop by Klang and catch a movie with us. The 4 of us had bah kut teh for dinner and we are 4 happy people again. The bah kut teh is yummylicious. We went to Aeon to watch Resident Evil 3D. The story line is so so and I was freezing inside. The person in front of me talks so loud. Don't he realized that he is actually in cinema? Gosh! Oh, Jerry did joined us for movies. Pink went back to Nilai after that because she actually forgots her charger. Hmmph.. We hugs each other goodbye before sending her off to Klang Parade again.. I'm so gonna miss her.. But she promised me that she will come and find me soon.. I'm waiting..

Fitting rooms of Forever 21

Like the poses

Lighting here is cool..

Self shot..

Love you darling

I shall see you again very soon

Freedom that I've been longing for..

To celebrate my FREEDOM, I went to Genting with my gangs. We took crazy pictures, plays crazy rides which is not crazy at all, casino (3 of them underage) and watch television together.. We had a really fun 3days 2 nights. Coincidently, there are warehouse sales in Genting.. From the previous post, you all should know that I'm being so crazy and shops all the time. I have the urge to buy everything.. I went crazy over the sales and wanted everything.. But, most of the things that I bought in the end is for my boyfriend.. Arghh.. I only bought 1 belt for myself and that's all.

Today, I went to KLCC before coming back because there are a book fest. And I come back with 3 new books and RM99 poorer. Sad...

I'm tired today so I will blog again another day.

Group picture

Louis being isolated

Triangle love

Looks like kissing

Showing off our jersey

All the countries

Louis looks like being forced

Wan Huey is always weird

Self entertain picture

Self entertain picture num.2

Act innocent

Happy 3 friend

Act cute..

I'm going CRAZEE soon

See la.. Ini orang tak mahu layan saya.. Hahaha.. He was actually busy sending message.. I spent some quality time with him yesterday. *loves* I thought he will be working but due to him not feeling well, he went to work later than usual.. I love the feeling of seeing him again after separation for a period of time. In this case, 2 weeks.. The feeling is just superb.. Love it till the max! Cause missing each other adds some spice to the relationship. And I got pocket money from him.. Hehe.. Coz I kinda overspend this 2 weeks la.. Exam stress caused it so it's not considered my fault right? pheww.. feels better..

Today is National aka Merdeka Day.. Everyone went out and I have to stay at home to study.. Pity me.. I'm having another paper tomorrow morning.. I guess, burning midnight oil again tonight. I want my beauty sleep la.. I miss my boy boy already.. I don't want to study for exam already.. I want to shop shop shop...

Get over with it

As days passed by, I only want to get over with the exam. I feel so hopeless in this exam.. All I want is to get over with it. First, I did not attend classes as assignments is taking up most of my time. Even if I attended, I cannot concentrate because I'm very tired. So, how not to worry? In the end, I didn't score high marks for course work for oarticular subjects. I also didn't really know what am I studying. Time is not enough and I feel tired all the time.. I know I cannot blame anyone for my poor time management but I never imagine advanced diploma will be that hectic. Now, I thought, is it a bad decision to continue with advanced? But it's too late to regret now.. Just can pray that I pass..

I wonder, is it because this semester is a full theory semester which makes us feel so hectic? Memorizing is my thing but I do not like memorizing notes for 5 subjects. Plus the exam schedule is crazy.. I'm having paper on SUNDAY morning. Yeah, you read it right.. It's a SUNDAY.. Wow, rushing for Raya also no need to have exam on Sunday kua. Anyway, nothing we can do to change it.. So just bear with it. I will be finishing my paper this coming Thursday but I will be dead tired by that time because I'm also having paper on Wednesday. Freedom is on my way now..

I think I under extreme stress where I cannot sleep at night and then I have the urge to shop. People who know me well enough will know that I usually won't have the tendency to shop.. So, I guess I'm really under exreme stress.. Who want to sponsor me cash so that I can shop after exam?

The week of hell..

It was few days ago when we went for group study again for final exam.. 25/08/10 is the day I'm having my first paper.. It was a very stressful paper because our tutorial is mainly about checking the assignments. I have no idea how the question will be asked and how we should apply the examples. Memorizing all the steps is not easy as it is a total stranger to me.. Words used is of course deeper than those when we were still in diploma level. After all the hardwork and memorizing, we finally sit for that particular on 25/08/10 at 2pm. I feel like falling into hell the moment I read the question paper. I know how to answer but not all.. I only can hope that I can pass this paper.. I've done my best already..
See, how hardworking I am.. Haha.. I'm not pretending for the photo sake but I'm really doing my own notes. The picture is taken by Yogurt for for fun because studying for long period of time. I want to be away from exam.. I don't have the mood to sit for exams anymore. I just finished the 2nd paper yesterday and there are 3 more to go.. How am I supposed to cope with the stress? I wonder.. This is the most stressful exam I've been sitting for so far. Now, I realized that diploma is easy compared to advanced. Maybe it is because I still cannot adapt with the sudden changes, that's why I'm feeling very stress.. I just need some time to clear my mind and concentrate.. On the other note, counting down for 3 more papers and I'm free like bird. Freedom, I love you the most..
Finally, this is another picture of baby Jennifer.. It is also the last night she stays in KL.. She went back on Monday evening. I kind of miss her now.. I wonder when will be the next time she come to KL.. She is very active and fun to play with. The only problem is very hard to capture her picture. I forgot to put the camera into kids & pets mode so most of the picture turns out blurry. No more playing with baby once coming home.. :( But never mind, we will meet again for sure, baby Jennifer.. Miss you!