Thursday, February 4, 2010

I just want to be invisible

I don't know what is wrong with me lately. I'm too free? Too boring? PMS? The weather is too hot? I really don't know. I don't feel like talking. Oh wait, I actually don't talk much since I'm back home. I will talk on the phone with Jerry, talk to my brother, parents and sis (is she is around). I only talk when I'm required to. Pathetic life? Guess so. Just now, my sis was telling me her problems and I didn't really give any response. The truth is I don't even know what response should I give. I got no idea about that things that happens nor the person. She was so unhappy and said I'm always like that. I raised my voice a little and said I don't know how to respond and what to respond. She said ' I was asking for your opinion'. I didn't answer. This is the 1st case. Earlier, I called Jerry and then the line is cut off out of sudden. I thought he will call me back so I waited. After a while, I called him but couldn't get thru. I thought his phone is out of batt and he will be home soon. I waited like a fool for him to call back and he only called after 15 mins or so; I couldn't remember. And he told me he is not going home yet, just passing by. Great.. He said he will call me when he gets home. I waited again until 10 something then I called. I wasn't in mood already because of the argument between sis and I. Then he is so happy talking about his plan of buying houses. I will not enclose details and another time, I got no comment about it. That pissed him off. He sounded so upset and said why I react that way. See? I guess it's my problem because it happens two times in a row. My fault for not responding. Silence kills because he seems like he didn't want to talk anymore. He asked me to go to bed. Fine, I hung up.
I didn't sleep well since I'm home. I also don't know why. I've been having nightmares day and night. I tried taking nap in the afternoon but turns out that I slept but still aware of the surroundings. Or the dream is too real? I don't know. I kept having nightmares everynight and that makes me very tired. Stress? I don't think so because I'm having holiday now. That makes me didn't want to sleep. Because I will ended up being even more tired than b4.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

chil... v r stil here... supporting u... lovin u... although its quite impossible 2 express it phsically...

Vee Ling said...

Thank you.. appreciate it..We are ok now..